The Achievements of a Woman of Influence

Do you have specific achievements that you are especially proud of?  Hard work, preparation, & determination are just a few ingredients to great accomplishments.  My grandmother used to say, "anything worth doing is worth doing right." In other words, to achieve anything that's worth something, you have to work hard and do it the right way.  Our proverbs 31 lady has several achievements to her credit that we will focus on.  First, she works hard to meet the needs of her home and invests in her household's success. 

15 "She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks."

In the Amplified Bible, the food she rises up early for is "spiritual" food.  I see this has her preparing herself spiritually to be the best she can be.  She has her own time with the Lord and what she learns in these intimate times with God, she passes along to her family.  She instructs her family to have a relationship with God, not by what she says, but by how she lives her life in front of her family. I like to start my day with the Lord.  I do my devotions, journal my prayers, or simply read my Bible. I have quiet time with Jesus in the mornings, I believe, it jumps starts my day. She again, plans her day assigning her maids to their tasks.  I read an article recently about getting the most done every day.  It suggests that you turn off media (TV, Facebook, Twiter, etc) at night an hour before bed and do not touch it again until after you have had breakfast in the morning and  planning your day.  although, it doesn't say it in the article, I would add devotion Time with God.

In verse 16,   "She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.". 

She just doesn't  do the daily household tasks but looks for ways to invest resources that benefit her family.  I can see her as shrewd business woman.  She must research what types of fields to buy so she can plant her vineyards in the best possible soil.   She also wisely fits this investment of time and energy into her regular household responsibilities.  That seems so amazing that she does all of this, but it is possible, because she doesn't waste time.  I think, we as a society waste a lot of time doing useless activities.  I like to watch tv because I am single, so the noise makes me not feel so alone at times, unfortunately tv can captivate me, causing me to waste precious time.  I challenge you to evaluate how you spend your time, what productive things can you be doing to grow as a person?  Think about that this week?

Verse 17 "She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm."

Ok, I'm going to talk about it and this is one is something that I obviously need a lot of work on, but she ....wait for it ...keeps herself in shape. Ouch!  Verse 17, "She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm." I see her taking care of herself, not just through exercise, but through her whole person.  I believe, taking care of yourself, means getting rest, eating right, and doing things that make you happy.  Women today spend most of their time taking care of everyone else in their lives, but neglect themselves.  Sometimes, you need to vacate the everyday and do something that makes you happy.  If you put some priority on yourself on a regular basis, your loved ones will benefit from a happier YOU! 

So, to recap her achievements, we see that she has a relationship with God and pours that out upon her family.  She finds ways to use her talents and intelligence outside of the home for the benefit of her home.  Lastly, she spends some time taking care of herself.  These, achievements  our foundational to us as human beings, so my challenge to you (and me) is to evaluate this week and set goals to so you can have wonderful accomplishments.

Blessing to you all!

~Melissa

* Written by Melissa Graw, based on John Maxwell Leadership Bible text.

The Assets of a Woman of Influence

In our continuing look at the Proverbs 31 lady, last week we looked at her attitudes, this week her assets.  The first two assets we will look at are that she is trustworthy & has positive influence.  These verses specifically reference her husband, but of course could be applied to any relationship.

Verses 11-12 (AMP), "The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.  12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her."

    As I mentioned last week, your first priority other than your personal relationship with God, is your husband.  So, it’s interesting to note, that the first verses in her story are about her husband's confidence in her.  Trustworthiness is a powerful asset to have.  Her husband trusts her to prudently deal with the household finances and not carelessly spending his money.  She speaks with wisdom and does not bring reproach against him to other people.  She is faithful, submissive, unified, and loyal to him.  Because he trusts her, he can rely upon her to give him wise counsel about the household affairs and his business.  Trustworthiness opens up opportunities to add value and will increase your influence.  Because this lady is such, she is able to become more to her husband and be a partner with him.  If you can't be trusted by your spouse or anyone else, then you will not be included in the vision and plans they have. Think about the parable of the servants that were given the talents to invest in Matthew 25, the one who was given 5 doubled them, was then was given even more by the master because he was trustworthy. Be trustworthy and faithful and see your leadership influence increase as opportunities unfold for you. 

    The Proverbs 31 lady spoke well of her husband because she was a positive influence. Men need affirmation from their wives. A woman's opinion of her husband can make or break a man.  How do you speak about your husband in private and in public?  What you speak about your husband in private either tears him down or builds him up to what he thinks about himself and the same is true for how you speak about him in public which can color people's perception of him.  If you speak that your husband is "so stupid, he can't get anything right" even in jest, people will come to think negatively about his ability and intelligence. Be someone he can rely upon to feel encouraged and appreciated instead of ridiculed and belittled.  This is true with anyone to whom you have influence over. Leadership influence is either positive or negative, be the one who encourages and looks for the good instead of negatively influencing people.

Verses 21-22 (AMP) "She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.  22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made]." 

    If you don't plan to succeed you plan to fail.  The ability to plan is an important asset to have as a leader. Some people are natural planners and some struggle with it.  I believe that everyone can learn how to organize and plan affectively, but it takes work and discipline if you are not naturally gifted in that area.  If you want to achieve the dreams and visions God has given to you, then you need a plan of how to get there.  The proverbs 31 lady is a planner with an element of foresight.  Sometimes you have to expect the unexpected in life so you can meet it with readiness. Being a good leader, you learn to expect those unforeseen "life-just-happens-things" and you are able to work through it without having a complete meltdown, but it takes work and experience. 

    These are only and handful of her assets, and so important to becoming a great leader!  Here are some questions to ask yourself. Are you trustworthy? Can the Lord trust you to follow through with things are has asked of you?  Does your husband or other people trust you? Are you a positive influence or do you speak negatively? I struggle with having a negative attitude and this is something that I'm diligently trying to work on.  I desire to be full of encouragement. Lastly, are you a good planner?  Is it something that comes natural or something you have to work on?  Are you succeeding in accomplishing your plans? If not, I encourage you to do some research on how to plan and set goals, so you can achieve all you desire to. We will be discussing planning and goal setting in an upcoming Mary's Circle.

Look for the next devotional next Friday, until then have a great week!

~ Melissa

The Attitudes of a Woman of Influence

This month we are going to focus on leadership, as we learned Monday night, leadership is influence.  We are all leaders because we all influence someone.  We cannot talk about influence without talking about a woman of great influence; she is lovingly referred to as the Proverbs 31 woman.  I know she seems too good to be true and so perfect that it can seem daunting to live up to her example.  Well, hopefully, by breaking down her story we can learn to apply her leadership truths so we can become great ladies of influence in our world. 

    Let's first talk about some of her attitude attributes. Attitude can make or break your leadership.  Her attitudes set her apart as a great leader. The first one, is based upon verse 13 (AMP), "She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it]."  "Working with willing hands" shows us that she takes great delight to work the wool and flax.  Sometimes the monotony of doing the daily work becomes boring and un-satisfying.  It is important to remain happy in doing the un-glamorous duties.  Why did she delight in this duty?  I would venture to say, she kept reminding herself that she was doing it for her family thereby keeping that reason in front of her.  Leaders aren't afraid to work hard and keep a positive attitude because they keep the goal in the forefront of their minds and it compels them forward.

     In verse 20 (AMP), "She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]."  Two other attitude attributes are compassion and unselfishness.  She not only provides food for the poor, but those who are poor in spirit and mind and gives of her abundance, through encouragement and love. She stays filled up so she has something to offer.  She looks for people that she can help.  As a leader, it is important to have a heart of charity to give back to people.  John C. Maxwell, a leadership expert, always says to walk slowly, so that you are not passing by opportunities to help people.  Pastor Ray encourages the staff to walk through the lobby slowly and take notice of people and make connections.  When we get busy, we often times, flurry around doing what we need to do but miss looking in to the faces of humanity and be willing to encourage and lift up those around us.  Leading people means you should love people and put their needs before your own.

     Verse 18 (AMP); "She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust]."  We see here her confident trust in God; she tastes and sees her work for God and her family is good.  She is not afraid to try new ways of doing things.  I look at it like this because she trusts in God, she is not afraid of failure, because she knows it will work for good.  Sometimes we are afraid to stretch ourselves because we don't want to fail.  Failure is a part of growth; we just have to know that we are not a failure if we fail.  Thomas Edison said about inventing the light bulb (paraphrase) "I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work." Thomas Edison certainly was not a failure, but he did fail 2000 times to make the light bulb.  The key here is that he wasn't afraid to keep trying.  Our proverbs 31 lady also let the word of God, her lamp, not go out because she relied upon it through every storm in her life.  She also, through the Word of God, drove out fear, doubt, & distrust.  Many times as leaders we can let self-doubt, worry, and fear take control, when we have a light in those potentially dark places that will lead us out.  We must learn to lean upon the word of God in all situations because it is our source of learning to be the best leader God wants us to be. 

    The last attitude attribute we will talk about is that she was completely secure in who she was and what she has done. Verse 25 (AMP); "Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!" First off, she knows who she is as a Godly woman, her position in the Kingdom, and her role in the family.  Insecurity is rampant with women today and sometimes I think it comes from trying to fill roles that aren't ours.  We have lost the clear distinction of where we belong.  Are we wage-earners, homemakers, mothers & fathers, where do we fit?  There is an identity crisis among women and men, for that matter, the lines are blurred.  Women are much more empowered now to become whatever we want, but in that pursuit we try to be and do everything and we get lost in it sometimes, thereby becoming insecure in whom we are and what we really want.  First off, the proverbs 31 lady was secure in her position with God. She knew where she stood with Him and had done what He asked of her first.  Then, she took care of her husband and then her children.  Please don't mistake this, but your first priority is yourself and God and then your husband, followed by your children.  Please think of it like this, when you get married, you become one flesh with your husband, so when your relationship with Him is neglected, you are in fact neglecting part of yourself.  As a leader it is important to be secure in the position you hold.  God has placed these roles in your life so you can flourish and influence those around you in a positive way. Grow where you are planted!

    The Proverbs 31 lady is not a super-saint; she is just a lady who is successful partly because she has a great attitude about life.  She is confident, secure, delights in her life, compassionate, and unselfish, who wouldn’t want to be around her?  God put this fine lady's example in His word, because He knew that following her model we, too could be successful.  Why don't we all take some time this week to evaluate our own attitudes, are there any you need to improve upon? If so, then start making changes so you can be a great lady of influence!

Abba Father

Today I was driving to work and was in a bit of a hurry, when a school bus pops over the hill coming towards me with yellow lights flashing. Poo, I thought!  I came to a halt and watched this little 10 year old girl dressed in a pink coat with a backpack as strapped to her as big as she was, exit a blue car.  The little girl with feet slipping on the icy driveway took about three cautious steps until BOOM! she fell to her knees in a contorted position that only a little girl was agile enough to do. Immediately, out of the car dashed her father confidently making his way over to his fallen child and brought her to her feet.  He checked to make sure she wasn't hurt and with arms wrapped around her guided her as they walked side by side the remainder of the driveway until she stepped onto the dry road and then quickly skipped onto the bus.  The father was so sure of himself when coming to the aid of his little girl didn't consider the danger to himself walking on the icy driveway.

This situation was great picture of a father. I didn't have the strongest father-daughter relationship with my earthly father. He was a good man, but with my parents divorced and him living in Indiana; he wasn't involved in my daily life.  So, I didn't have a father watching over me.  My father passed away in 2001 very suddenly. Over the last couple of months, I have been asking God to show me what a father is supposed to be so I can look to God as my father.

Jesus says: Matt 7:11 If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (NLT)

My earthly father typically forgot my birthday when I was growing up; I may have on occasion received a birthday card or a phone call.  He never had the fiscal means to give me any type of small birthday present.  As, I read Matthew 7:11, it has made it difficult to see that Father God would do much more than an earthly father, which wasn't much.

Romans 8:15 (NLT) So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into his family --calling him "Father, dear Father." (Abba Father)

What I know about a father's role is that all that he has he gives to his children; he cares, protects, & provides for them. So, looking at Romans 8:15; I am adopted into God's family; I am HIS child and HE is my dear father. He will provide for me and take care of me, all that He has is mine. When I fall, He will make sure that I'm ok and will carry me with HIS strong arm through difficult times.  I am learning to let my Father God show me what a father is and let HIM take care of me like HE desires to do.

Perhaps, you have had a rough father-daughter or father-son relationship with your earthly father. I challenge you to let your Father God show you what a true father is. It is HIS desire to give you the Kingdom, to protect, guide, instruct, rescue, & have a watchful eye on you at all times.  Doesn't that make you feel safe…well that is HIS job and HE is good at it.

My Little Old Church

Monday through Friday, I travel the same rural roads trekking to work; I have for nearly 14 years.  I know every house, every tree & every bump in the road by now. It is a pretty drive, but sometimes the beauty is lost by the familiarity of the commute.  There is one particular site, that I love, but it is only visible in winter when the trees have expelled their leaves.  It is a very small old church that sits back off the main road nestled underneath some trees. There is a field and pond in front of it and as the sun rises behind it each day, the pond illuminates into and orange-ish yellow glow. The picturesque scene is only visible for a mere two seconds as I whiz past.  But in those seconds, it seems like a scene from an English countryside. What is the history of that old church?  What sermons or weddings were performed there?  These questions will probably remain unanswered but the mystery and romance of it captures my thoughts.

    As fall rolls around, I wait with anticipation of seeing that little church once again.  Finally, as the chill whips through the air and carries away the last of the leaves, I see it. I thought about this in context of our relationship with God.  Because in life, everything points back to God to where there is always a lesson to be learned even from the most insignificant of things. This beautiful little church only emerges when the thriving life of summer with vibrant green leaves withers into the cold sparse winter. Had winter never come, the hidden treasure of that beautiful church would have been missed. That after 14 years of taking this arduous path, this little church has become a joyful anticipation.

    It amazes me that the greatest treasure only appears in the most desolate times of our lives.  It is a reminder that had the hard times not come, beautiful treasures wouldn't have been revealed. That on this long journey of life which can quickly turn into such mundane existence and with it comes the lonely isolated times. God always has a something beautiful that we can hold close to our hearts and know that we would have missed it, if we didn't have those times of sorrow.  When life has cleared its obstruction, we can clearly see what lies hidden in our daily surroundings.  Our relationship with God is nothing less, than getting life out of the way and seeing the treasure God has for us and thanking Him for the lonely times because had not they been, we wouldn't know HIS beauty.  We never look closely unless we are forced to look.

    I have recently experienced this winter time after returning from an amazing ladies retreat where the power of God moved in such unspeakably miraculous ways. I climbed down from that mountain back into the reality of my life just to face many trials from every possible angle which has left me overwhelmed and alone. I want the winter to end and it always does and when it does new life buds into hope and greater abundance of life. Even with the newness springing forth, I am looking to those hidden treasures, I know those treasures exist as my little church exists and stands as a memorial that with God you are never alone or forgotten.

   I realize that this isn’t really a typical Christmas message, but maybe during this holiday season and another year coming to a close, perhaps you are reflecting over loss of family members, family drama, busyness of every kind. Maybe you too are feeling the affects of a winter season.  My thoughts to you is too look closely and find your own little church that God wants to reveal to you and give you hope He is indeed with you too.

Merry Christmas!

The Footstool Series – Part 3 – Letting Things Go That Grow

I learned a valuable lesson this year about letting things go that grow. I live in a condo with a fenced in patio.  My own little plot of land most of which is covered by concrete leaving the surrounding edges for vegetation. There were annual plants that were already there when I bought my condo.  However there are also weeds that had grown amongst the plants.  To be honest, I do not have a green thumb, so I’m not sure which are the plants you keep or just plain ole’ weeds?  This year I had been so busy that I couldn’t attend to my little plot of land, so the weeds grew.  I kept telling myself, you need to get out there and take care of those weeds, but it was easier to close the curtains on my patio door and ignore them.  I would think “today is a lovely day I think, I’ll sit outside” but once I pulled the curtain back (dum, dum, dum) those weeds had now taken over my patio. The weeds not only took over, but in fact became small trees, taller than me with stalks about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. This isn’t good.  One day I was determined that I was going to take care of them. I dug around, because I was always told that weeds had shallow roots, uh apparently these weeds had super-roots because I couldn’t pull them out. So, still determined,  I got out my little hacksaw that came with a tool kit my brother gave me. To be honest I think a butter knife was sturdier than that hacksaw.  After a couple tries I hear (SNAP!), the hacksaw broke. The weeds had become so strong the saw didn’t work. I gave up in frustration, closed the curtain, and thought “now what do I do?” A couple weeks later, I received a letter from my condo association that my weeds (now taller than the fence) were casting an eclipse like shadow on the condo complex and they needed to be removed.  I was desperate, so I called my mom, have you noticed; moms have everything you need when in crisis.  I borrowed her hacksaw (a REAL hacksaw) and went to town cutting down the weeds, YES, VICTORY! At least they were no longer taller than the fence, but they haven’t gone away, they are growing again because I didn’t pull them out by the roots, but it is now fall and after the first frost they will be gone and the battle will be met next spring, to be continued…

The reason for my story is to illustrate, that had I taken the time to resolve the problem at its earliest stages & not kept the curtains closed my negligence wouldn’t have affected my neighbors.  Isn’t this true with the issues we have in our lives?  What happens sometimes is the issues are painful and have grown into small trees that cannot be dislodged by our self.  It is in fact easier to close the curtains to our heart and ignore them. We can’t enjoy God and His benefits fully because those ‘small trees’ are looming over us. Eventually, those wounds manifest themselves in such a way to affect our relationships with others.  We act out from the brokenness from our hearts. When we live at the feet of Jesus our curtains are continually open to Him.  He won’t let those weeds get out of control.  If you have found that you currently have giant symbolic weeds choking out the beauty in life, ask Jesus for help.  He wants to help you cut those out of your life.  You can do it with His help, but you must be willing to work with Him to do it.  It won’t be easy, it will be painful and the process might take longer than you want, but you can then experience the freedom of having a de-cluttered heart and life.  Jesus always wants our plot of land to be a place of freedom, enjoyment, & peace.

The Footstool Series – Part 2 – The Security of Change

After 20 years, I am saying goodbye to youth ministry.  I knew God was moving me from youth ministry, but after investing so much time it’s difficult to see your life in any other way.  What do people do on Tuesday nights? All I have known is sitting in a dimly lit gym with lights flashing, loud thumping music, lots of laughter and talking….action every where. So many different types of young people, preppy, popular, jocks, outcasts, church kids, non-church kids; but all needing the same thing…love and significance. Isn’t that what we all search for? With teenagers, the world offers them counterfeit love, and still being “children”, they don’t have the wisdom to know the difference.  Oddly enough with adults, we know the difference and still choose the counterfeit sometimes.

But this article isn’t about youth or adults ability to make good decisions; it is about change.  I am a person who likes to feel secure and comfortable, but I have found lately that God wants me to have a new adventure. I know I need it because I have felt like I could jump out of my skin with boredom. I am never bored with God, but I get bored with life & the work.  It is time that I move on to a new challenge.  Now the only reason, I am not curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb at the thought of having my Tuesday nights free of obligation is that I am secure in the fact God is my constant companion and He never changes. 

Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever”

What a remarkable thought, when I live at His footstool, change could be happening all around me; good or bad, but I feel completely secure because Jesus is close and HE never ever changes!!  That makes me feel good about the change that I would have normally fought, and don’t think I didn’t wrestle with the decision to leave youth ministry, I did!  However knowing that HE is with me and I’m holding on to Him with all my might helps me maneuver through the journey of change.  This particular season of change is harder because I don’t know what I’m changing to. It would be easier to say, “I left youth ministry to do this”.  I cannot say that; I’m leaving youth ministry, period.  I know He is taking me somewhere and since He is unchangeable, then I know even in the unknown direction of my life path, He is still guiding and won’t let me take the wrong direction.

Living at His footstool causes me to not just have Him with me where I go, but that I am following where HE is going and there is great security in that.