My Little Old Church

Monday through Friday, I travel the same rural roads trekking to work; I have for nearly 14 years.  I know every house, every tree & every bump in the road by now. It is a pretty drive, but sometimes the beauty is lost by the familiarity of the commute.  There is one particular site, that I love, but it is only visible in winter when the trees have expelled their leaves.  It is a very small old church that sits back off the main road nestled underneath some trees. There is a field and pond in front of it and as the sun rises behind it each day, the pond illuminates into and orange-ish yellow glow. The picturesque scene is only visible for a mere two seconds as I whiz past.  But in those seconds, it seems like a scene from an English countryside. What is the history of that old church?  What sermons or weddings were performed there?  These questions will probably remain unanswered but the mystery and romance of it captures my thoughts.

    As fall rolls around, I wait with anticipation of seeing that little church once again.  Finally, as the chill whips through the air and carries away the last of the leaves, I see it. I thought about this in context of our relationship with God.  Because in life, everything points back to God to where there is always a lesson to be learned even from the most insignificant of things. This beautiful little church only emerges when the thriving life of summer with vibrant green leaves withers into the cold sparse winter. Had winter never come, the hidden treasure of that beautiful church would have been missed. That after 14 years of taking this arduous path, this little church has become a joyful anticipation.

    It amazes me that the greatest treasure only appears in the most desolate times of our lives.  It is a reminder that had the hard times not come, beautiful treasures wouldn't have been revealed. That on this long journey of life which can quickly turn into such mundane existence and with it comes the lonely isolated times. God always has a something beautiful that we can hold close to our hearts and know that we would have missed it, if we didn't have those times of sorrow.  When life has cleared its obstruction, we can clearly see what lies hidden in our daily surroundings.  Our relationship with God is nothing less, than getting life out of the way and seeing the treasure God has for us and thanking Him for the lonely times because had not they been, we wouldn't know HIS beauty.  We never look closely unless we are forced to look.

    I have recently experienced this winter time after returning from an amazing ladies retreat where the power of God moved in such unspeakably miraculous ways. I climbed down from that mountain back into the reality of my life just to face many trials from every possible angle which has left me overwhelmed and alone. I want the winter to end and it always does and when it does new life buds into hope and greater abundance of life. Even with the newness springing forth, I am looking to those hidden treasures, I know those treasures exist as my little church exists and stands as a memorial that with God you are never alone or forgotten.

   I realize that this isn’t really a typical Christmas message, but maybe during this holiday season and another year coming to a close, perhaps you are reflecting over loss of family members, family drama, busyness of every kind. Maybe you too are feeling the affects of a winter season.  My thoughts to you is too look closely and find your own little church that God wants to reveal to you and give you hope He is indeed with you too.

Merry Christmas!

The Footstool Series – Part 3 – Letting Things Go That Grow

I learned a valuable lesson this year about letting things go that grow. I live in a condo with a fenced in patio.  My own little plot of land most of which is covered by concrete leaving the surrounding edges for vegetation. There were annual plants that were already there when I bought my condo.  However there are also weeds that had grown amongst the plants.  To be honest, I do not have a green thumb, so I’m not sure which are the plants you keep or just plain ole’ weeds?  This year I had been so busy that I couldn’t attend to my little plot of land, so the weeds grew.  I kept telling myself, you need to get out there and take care of those weeds, but it was easier to close the curtains on my patio door and ignore them.  I would think “today is a lovely day I think, I’ll sit outside” but once I pulled the curtain back (dum, dum, dum) those weeds had now taken over my patio. The weeds not only took over, but in fact became small trees, taller than me with stalks about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. This isn’t good.  One day I was determined that I was going to take care of them. I dug around, because I was always told that weeds had shallow roots, uh apparently these weeds had super-roots because I couldn’t pull them out. So, still determined,  I got out my little hacksaw that came with a tool kit my brother gave me. To be honest I think a butter knife was sturdier than that hacksaw.  After a couple tries I hear (SNAP!), the hacksaw broke. The weeds had become so strong the saw didn’t work. I gave up in frustration, closed the curtain, and thought “now what do I do?” A couple weeks later, I received a letter from my condo association that my weeds (now taller than the fence) were casting an eclipse like shadow on the condo complex and they needed to be removed.  I was desperate, so I called my mom, have you noticed; moms have everything you need when in crisis.  I borrowed her hacksaw (a REAL hacksaw) and went to town cutting down the weeds, YES, VICTORY! At least they were no longer taller than the fence, but they haven’t gone away, they are growing again because I didn’t pull them out by the roots, but it is now fall and after the first frost they will be gone and the battle will be met next spring, to be continued…

The reason for my story is to illustrate, that had I taken the time to resolve the problem at its earliest stages & not kept the curtains closed my negligence wouldn’t have affected my neighbors.  Isn’t this true with the issues we have in our lives?  What happens sometimes is the issues are painful and have grown into small trees that cannot be dislodged by our self.  It is in fact easier to close the curtains to our heart and ignore them. We can’t enjoy God and His benefits fully because those ‘small trees’ are looming over us. Eventually, those wounds manifest themselves in such a way to affect our relationships with others.  We act out from the brokenness from our hearts. When we live at the feet of Jesus our curtains are continually open to Him.  He won’t let those weeds get out of control.  If you have found that you currently have giant symbolic weeds choking out the beauty in life, ask Jesus for help.  He wants to help you cut those out of your life.  You can do it with His help, but you must be willing to work with Him to do it.  It won’t be easy, it will be painful and the process might take longer than you want, but you can then experience the freedom of having a de-cluttered heart and life.  Jesus always wants our plot of land to be a place of freedom, enjoyment, & peace.

The Footstool Series – Part 2 – The Security of Change

After 20 years, I am saying goodbye to youth ministry.  I knew God was moving me from youth ministry, but after investing so much time it’s difficult to see your life in any other way.  What do people do on Tuesday nights? All I have known is sitting in a dimly lit gym with lights flashing, loud thumping music, lots of laughter and talking….action every where. So many different types of young people, preppy, popular, jocks, outcasts, church kids, non-church kids; but all needing the same thing…love and significance. Isn’t that what we all search for? With teenagers, the world offers them counterfeit love, and still being “children”, they don’t have the wisdom to know the difference.  Oddly enough with adults, we know the difference and still choose the counterfeit sometimes.

But this article isn’t about youth or adults ability to make good decisions; it is about change.  I am a person who likes to feel secure and comfortable, but I have found lately that God wants me to have a new adventure. I know I need it because I have felt like I could jump out of my skin with boredom. I am never bored with God, but I get bored with life & the work.  It is time that I move on to a new challenge.  Now the only reason, I am not curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb at the thought of having my Tuesday nights free of obligation is that I am secure in the fact God is my constant companion and He never changes. 

Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever”

What a remarkable thought, when I live at His footstool, change could be happening all around me; good or bad, but I feel completely secure because Jesus is close and HE never ever changes!!  That makes me feel good about the change that I would have normally fought, and don’t think I didn’t wrestle with the decision to leave youth ministry, I did!  However knowing that HE is with me and I’m holding on to Him with all my might helps me maneuver through the journey of change.  This particular season of change is harder because I don’t know what I’m changing to. It would be easier to say, “I left youth ministry to do this”.  I cannot say that; I’m leaving youth ministry, period.  I know He is taking me somewhere and since He is unchangeable, then I know even in the unknown direction of my life path, He is still guiding and won’t let me take the wrong direction.

Living at His footstool causes me to not just have Him with me where I go, but that I am following where HE is going and there is great security in that.

The Footstool Series – Part 1 – Do you hear me?

When I was growing up my mom would be in the kitchen getting dinner ready and I would usually be in the living room watching TV.  Many times my mom would call out to me “what do you want to drink with dinner” or some other question regarding the dinner she was preparing. I would shout back “what did you say?” she would ask me the same question, this time a little louder.  I was still not able to hear her. We repeated this until finally in frustration and a big dramatic sigh, I would get up and walk into the kitchen to find out what she wanted and usually it was something that could have waited to be answered.

Sometimes I believe this is the scenario we play over and over with God.  He is calling out to us, but we have so many noisy distractions around us and are living in the other room we never hear Him.  Only when we get up from where we are & go to where He is do we understand what He is trying to say to us. Often times we are the ones shouting at Him all of our requests, but we aren’t close enough to hear His answer.

Living at the footstool of Jesus, means we are so close to Him that He could whisper to us & we could hear Him.  Which often times He does as a still small voice (1Kings 19:12). We can also whisper back to Him our hopes, dreams, stresses, challenges, frustrations, or our worship and He is there to hear it and you KNOW that He has. When you are that close to someone, you can hear the inflection in their voice & read their facial expressions.  That is how close Jesus wants to be with us.  Listen to His words in the Bible & imagine how He said them to whom He was speaking or how He is speaking them to you. 

Many times we need prayers answered or direction for our lives and get frustrated when we think He hasn’t answered us, when we are the ones in the other room far from Him and distracted.

So my challenge is to sit at the footstool of Jesus this week and breathe Him in and listen to what He wants to say to you.

The Treasure of Your Heart & Power of Your Tongue (September 2010)


The subject matter of this article isn’t really a triumph of Jesus’ power and joy in my life, but rather a scathing indictment to what I am NOT doing right. Many of you know me as “mo”, but I must tell you the name I often call myself is “Complainy Mcplainerson”. This realization that I in fact complain…A LOT, came to me on the way to my nephews first birthday party. A happy time by all accounts, however, I wasn’t happy with certain aspects of the party planning, which I won’t bore you with details. I am riding in my car with my mom and I started complaining about the poor planning of the party etc, when my mother looked over at me and asked “do you have a can opener”. I looked at her and sheepishly replied, “do you mean on me”; (again picture the scene; me – driving - in a car – nowhere near a kitchen). She kind of smiled and said “yes”. After I asked her why she asked me that, she pulled out a can of baked beans from a grocery bag. Now, the reason this story is shamefully humorous is that we were on our way to celebrate a one year olds birthday in a park and to my knowledge there isn’t a kitchen there much less public can openers available. At that moment I snapped back at my mother as to why she would bring an unopened can of beans to the park. She too, was bothered by the planning festivities of her only grandchild’s birthday party. It was her subtle (I use this term loosely) way of making a statement that she was in fact not happy. In that moment I thought to myself, what kind of freak show family did I get stuck with? Haven’t we all wondered that from time to time, why we ended up with the families we have, ahh, but I digress. My mother then went on to complain about her displeasure about the circumstances as she was talking her voice became fainter and my internal monologue became louder. I stepped out of myself as an objective onlooker to my family and my conversations and realized that I came from a long line of complainers. I didn’t realize that complaining could in fact be a generational curse. Over the past few weeks, I really made a point to listen to myself in conversations and noticed how over & over again, I would complain about anything and everything; big situations, small situations it didn’t matter, I complained about it all.

I now ask myself how can a born-again, Spirit-filled believer complain so much about things that in fact do not really matter in the grand scheme of life? I should have all the fullness of life in my speech. Now that is not to say I should walk around as a robot quoting scriptures, because in fact I am human, and I am most definitely not perfect. But, there is a line between being real & letting the negative reservoir of my heart come spilling out on everyone.

The following scripture came to my memory:

Luke 6:45 states plainly “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”

Looking up the definitions of words always excites me and in this sentence “abundance” in the Greek means; “abundance, in which one delights”. Following that up was “mouth” in the Greek meaning “the thoughts of a man’s soul find verbal utterance by his mouth, the heart or soul and mouth are distinguished”; but most interestingly it also means “the edge of a sword”. So, my paraphrase of this scripture is “for with what you delight in your heart you speak out loud using the edge of a sword”. So my mouth is like an edge of a sword and with I could cause injury to those to whom I am speaking. I have been around many people who complain and as I walk away, I feel as though I have been cut down and depressed, it never occurred to me that after I have vomited my complaints out to others, they walk away feeling the same way. I have actually cut them down instead of speaking life, even if it is my life I’m talking about at the time.

In Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” It only takes a few brief moments in conversation with someone to know what is close to their heart. So our heart acts as a treasure chest and we put all those wonderfully dear things that we love in it. In Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” this clearly lets me know that what I consider my treasure will also be what I hold dear to my heart. This brings me back to the scripture in Luke 6:45, I either have good treasure or bad treasure in my heart and I’ll either speak good or bad depending on the type of treasure.

So with this knowledge, I am evaluating what I am putting in my treasure box inside my heart. Am I letting my unhappy circumstances override the many blessings that God has give me. Why am I so discontented that at the slightest hiccup in my plans that I react negatively and I dare say with great drama. My foundation and faith in Jesus Christ should be my rock to which I hold to no matter what tidal wave tries to knock me down. I believe it is a matter of will to speak life instead of complaining. In Hebrews (4:12) the Word of God is referred to as a sword “For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

Did you notice that last part; “discerner of the thoughts & intents of the heart”. My mouth was made to speak the Word of God, to speak life instead of death; “the power of life and death are in the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). When I speak the sword (symbolically my mouth) should slay the devil and His powers within the situations, instead of slaying the person to whom I am talking. Our words have power. God himself creative power came through speaking. So our words have creative power because we are in fact made in His image.

The first thing I have learned about myself is to understand the need to cast out those unpleasant situations, hurts, & disappointments that crept into the treasure box of my heart and turn them over to Jesus. After taking those issues from my now empty heart I want to be filled up with God’s love, peace, the Word, & Holy Spirit, so that the treasure of my heart is good and that I will speak good life-changing devil slaying things. This journey to changing my attitude and speaking patterns will not happen over night, but I am determined to give myself over to the process and let God do His marvelous work. Lastly, we didn’t eat baked beans at the party.

~ Melissa Graw